Hey You Guys!!!!

So we don't have the internet at home, so we come to campus to do our homework. Needless to say, every time I'm posting, I should be doing homework :) However...I feel like I've been hit by a truck! I'm super tired, so I'm taking like a 6 hour break today :)

And I'm not running my first big run today. Love that determination, eh? I announce that I'm training for a marathon and skip my first big run. Oh, boy. Those of you who know me REALLY well...know that I LOVE the idea of the ideal. You could say that I talk big with very good intentions. Nope, I'm not giving up, but also I didn't run today.

I'm also super stoked that Joey and I are finally able have more hope that a baby will be part of our lives sooner than later. A couple posts ago, I explained this. SO naturally, I bought "What To Expect"...1. expecting and 2. first year and am loving reading about pregnancy. I've also started to do cost analysis (via USDA Expenditures on Children by Families, 2010) and trying to make decisions such as:

- are cloth diapers worth it?

- what doctor should I try? (I may be high-risk because of my whole fistula thing over the past two years. It's healed, but we don't know if it's an issue later on)

- how shall we start cutting costs to save up for insurance deductibles and co-pays?

- how cute will I be in preg shirts? Pretty cute?

- nursing at night: in your bed or in baby's room? (we have a king that is WAY too big for us...plenty of room for all of us, but do I really want to go there?)

- how can I keep investigating the birth process and not drive Joey crazy with all my random preg facts?

- how can I steal a baby at church without someone noticing? :) j/k, that's not a new thought for me :)

I've thought about these things a lot before this past month...but I thought about them with caution. I didn't know if it was ever going to come to a time when "for real" this could be something that could happen! So these aren't new thoughts, but are fun to allow myself to run wild with.

Unfortunately, that means school is no longer my most "fun" part of my day. Being a mother is so much more intriguing to me than establishing a career. That doesn't mean I've quit school again, but it's just different somehow. I think school has been a distraction from my intense desire to be a mother. But all I need is to FINISH and things will work out just fine.

Lots of ramblings, but there you go. Or there I go. Or something :)

Yep, it's happening...

Hey my super supportive and loving family and friends...

I'm going to run a marathon. Well, I'll walk it if I can't finish it running :) But St. George has a super marathon program and its held at a reasonable time...October...so I can get ready!

If you want to join me or want the info, here's the registration link: info: http://www.stgeorgemarathon.com/registration/procedures.php

I have a super great friend who has a TON of marathon experience. She's helped me develop a training program and it's pretty simple.

I'll run a "long" run on Saturdays and run 3 other days of the week. The week run mile numbers should add up to the number I'll run on Saturdays.

I worked backwards and staggered the mile length on Saturdays so I would gradually build up. Here's the plan:

26 miles on 10/6 St. George WHOO HOO!!! (8/8/8 during week)

8 miles on 9/29 (7/7/7 during week)

20 miles on 9/22 (7/7/7 during week)

20 miles on 9/15 (7/7/7 during week)

20 miles on 9/8 (7/7/7 during week)

22 miles on 9/1 (8/7/7 during week)

19 miles on 8/25 (7/6/6 during week)

20 miles on 8/18 (7/7/6 during week)

18 miles on 8/11 (6/6/6 during week)

19 miles on 8/4 (7/6/6 during week)

17 miles on 7/28 (6/6/5 during week)

18 miles on 7/21 (6/6/6 during week)

16 miles on 7/14 (6/5/5 during week)

17 miles on 7/7 (6/6/5 during week)

15 miles on 6/30 (5/5/5 during week)

16 miles on 6/23 (6/5/5/during week)

14 miles on 6/16 (5/5/4 during week)

15 miles on 6/9 (5/5/5 during week)

13 miles on 6/2 (5/4/4) during week)

14 miles on 5/26 (5/5/4 during week)

12 miles on 5/19 (4/4/4 during week)

13 miles on 5/12 (5/4/4 during week)

11 miles on 5/5 (4/4/3 during week)

12 miles on 4/28 (4/4/4 during week)

10 miles on 4/21 (4/3/3 during week)

11 miles on 4/14 (4/4/3 during week)

9 miles on 4/7 (3/3/3 during week)

10 miles on 3/31 (4/3/3 during week)

8 miles on 3/24 (3/3/2 during week)

9 miles on 3/17 (3/3/3 during week)

7 miles on 3/10 (3/2/2 during week)

8 miles on 3/3 (3/3/2 during week)

6 miles on 2/25 2/2/2 during week)

Sounds crazy, but doable! So here I go! I started last night with 2 miles, will do another 2 miles tomorrow and Friday. Saturday I'll do 6. and then from there I'm on track to be a marathon runner...

and yes, I should be doing homework...but there you go. I spent an hour planning more fun things :)

Who Does That?

The past week I've been waking up to different songs in my head...mostly church songs from when I was a kid (Primary songs). Last week I woke up to "Pioneer children sang as they walked, and walked and walked..." and it made me giggle because how random is that?
It became the theme song in my brain for the day and I couldn't shake it. Too funny.
Yesterday and this morning I've been singing Adam-Ondi-Ahman. I don't even know the words, so it's funny to hear the music and then my mind chimes in the last words of each verse "of adam-ondi-ahman". Oh boy. Joey, what are you going to do with your crazy (cute) wife?

Of course it's been forever...

So I should be doing homework right now, but I decided to write instead. Many things have happened in the last year that have been hard to talk about, but nothing so serious that it couldn't be taken care of by our Heavenly Father's patience and love for me.
Joey and I moved from the BYU-Idaho dorms (I was one of the managers) a year ago. For many reasons that seem silly and others that are valid, I was betrayed by people I trusted and considered my true friends. There were problems with the culture of our workplace and everyone complained behind everyone's backs...I found this to be unproductive and terribly dissatisfying. Change was the only acceptable solution for my heart to be at peace...so of course, I stuck my neck out for everyone, hoping others would gain courage to do the same. I stood alone, ridiculed (Jena, don't you have a hobby outside of work, etc?) and shunned by those who needed to change. They didn't know others were concerned with the same problems I was trying to solve with them...no one would come forward. I was really disappointed, even devastated. I couldn't be in contact with people, I physically could not handle it. I withdrew from friends and only sought comfort from my sweetheart, Joey...who is amazing, by the way.
Writing this out makes it sound like a small thing, but I don't tolerate insincerity or disloyalty very well. I know that I'm not a pristine example, so I need to be more forgiving of those faults. But what's done is done :)
I was able to start school again last April and it filled my brain and time with things to distract me from my still sensitive heart. I was succeeding for the first time in years at school and it felt great! But I was still not at peace. We were going to the temple, active in our ward as much as I could be.
But I was so anxious about my age and situation in life.
I was embarrassed about several things:
- I am 30+ and still not graduated from college. What did you do for 10 years?
- I have no kids. Since I'm still in school, adopting is not wise, etc. Thanks for the suggestion, though :)
- I had a complication from a surgery that made loud gurgling sounds from my belly area, not easy to explain.
I felt I was living an "alternative lifestyle" and didn't fit in. I didn't want to explain to people at church or in class about myself and I have been practicing intense smalltalk for more than half my life, showing genuine interest in others and I was tired. I didn't have energy for it.
So I thought, "I need help."
I went to counseling and talked with a really nice lady about all of this and we started to try to chemically treat my mood/behavior. She wasn't sure if I was OCD, bi-polar, depressed/anxiety, ADHD, etc. So we started with different combinations of medicine and I knew it would take months to isolate the problem before I could get some relief. That was in May, and by the end of November we found something that helped, and I've felt so much more like myself!
I don't want to advocate for or against getting medicinal help for mood disorders, that's not the point here. I do want to say that it's sad that more people don't understand that there are biological problems that aren't caused by bad behavior or selfish pity, etc. Some people's brains are just "broken" and certain amounts of stressors will trigger intense experiences!
Anyway, as I said, I'm feeling so much more like myself. I'm giggly again, I find myself being able to have "quiet" in my mind/pondering time again, I'm able to trust people more and not worry so much about my interactions with them.
The only downside was that I was told we wouldn't be able to try to get pregnant while I was on the medicine. Therefore, I was on birth control to make sure that wouldn't happen. I had a "scare" in January that I might be pregnant, and it was very emotional for many reasons. My sweet sister who is a titan in my life, had a miscarriage the same week we thought I might be pregnant. My heart was broken for her! I couldn't imagine the complete devastation of anticipating a sweet baby and then not even being able to see them. And there were other factors that made it more of a sad experience for her. I sure love that sister of mine.
And then I found out I wasn't pregnant and I was relieved and sad at the same time. I don't want to cause harm to a baby while on my meds, but I can't think of something I want more than to be a mother.
I just visited with my doctor again and we took me off meds that would cause harm, and left me on ones that wouldn't. I feel so grateful that we are able to do this and still maintain my stable and happy self! Joey and I fasted in the beginning of February and feel it is finally time to try to have a baby. We still don't know if things will work without help, but we are so grateful that we are at that point with my health to be able to try.
So that was a much longer post than I thought I'd write, but there you go. That's what's happened in the last year, not really a Christmas card update, so I didn't send it that way. :)
Other exciting updates: Joey will graduate in December, and we'll see where we end up...I can finish my degree online starting in January 2013 if needed (the program is converting the degree for upperclassmen to finish online) so we could be moving from Rexburg then, or we could be staying. I just depends on where Joey finds a job. He's also considering a Master's Degree in Accounting and there is a great 1-year program through ISU campus in Idaho Falls (about 30 minutes from Rexburg). He's not completely sure what he'd like to do, so we'll play it out by ear. If we can't get pregnant, I'm going to get a master's degree. Ohio State has a really great program for Healthcare Administration, but we'll see how things go. I will finish my bachelor's degree by July of next year, so not bad when I had to start fresh last April. :) My parents have been so supportive and have been one of the main reasons I'm able to even accomplish this without having to work while I take classes year-round.
Until then, I have four of the CUTEST nieces that I get to sing to, write to, and think about daily. (Pictured above...dang blogger layout thing isn't working properly)

and feel so grateful for my sweet family who is so patient and loving with me. My siblings are my heroes...each one have significant strengths that add to our family's life of learning and growth. My husband is my rock. He is my biggest fan, my most patient protector, and my greatest comfort on earth. Yeah, we're all imperfect, us bunch, but you know, that's the fun part :)

Merry Christmas Family {and Friends}

Here's our personage in your homes. We'd LOVE to be there with each of you, but this is the next best thing, right? LOVES!

Happy 4th!

Anniversary to US, that is. 4 years ago today, I married my sweetheart. We were sealed in the Seattle Temple. And we're still in love...!!!

So we are in the middle of moving (same town, just cheaper rent) and we are going simple

with our anniversary this year. Joey surprised me with flowers last night:

and here's what he looked like this morning. ***Sorry, Joey, you were way too cute***

Anyway, he's at work right now. I've been cleaning and packing today, so his surprise is what I haven't packed yet (if you can't tell, it's a bunch of stuff in the shape of a heart}:

ha ha, we're nerds. Anyway, happy anniversary my sweet Joey!

It's been couple years now...

I can't believe I haven't shared this with you yet.

Can I just say that I love Feist? If you haven't heard her, you should. Yeah it's old school (2007) :) but it's been good cleaning music. Gets your foot tapping while scrubbing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pYMZKVZ9Ws "1234"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-1Gb2rxzlk "I Feel it All"

just a couple of my faves to get you started.

Worth it

Hel-lo, what a semester! I've been going back to school full-time to get a bachelor's in health care administration. We have serious bills to pay :) and can't have kids for a while (if ever...another post, another time), so what the heck, I'll get a degree...finally.

I have had a HUGE fear of being able to succeed in school because my grades have been so erratic over the past years. I've always had the desire to do well and then I'd somehow just let things go wrong.

Anyway, enough of the pity party, I started in April and took a full load of classes, but the minimum full load. I did okay, I did my best.

This semester I decided to up the bar and I took enough classes to keep me busy for 65+ hours a week and I'm finishing up this week. And I'm happy to say my lowest grade is an A- , and that's even if I get C's on my last two finals. YAY!

So celebrate with me, I've been blessed with capabilities beyond my own!

Love you all :)

Funny little dreams

This morning I woke up giggling...this may not be funny to anyone else but me, but that's okay. I'm cool with it.

I was intensely searching a bus for a shoe.

Let me back up: I was a school teacher who slept on a bunk bed in the middle of the classroom and all the walls were windows. Yay! Doesn't that sound fun? First funny detail.

In my class there was a super cute little black boy who wore a gray suit and tie with matching gray sneakers. I have no idea what age he was, just that he was in elementary school. But still: who is that adorable and wears a suit to school? Second funny detail.

So back to THE shoe that was missing...this cute little boy was crying because he lost his shoe and was going to be late for class and the bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus to find the shoe but I went on anyway and the bus was as wide as a mobile home so I could easily walk down the middle and look behind the seats and there were no kids on the bus and the bus driver was now yelling at me to get off the bus...and then I remembered I forgot to put wonton wrappers on our grocery list. And woke up.

I told Joey this, and he thinks his wife is a nut. He's right.

I am a nut.

:}

PINTEREST

Just so you know, there's a really cool website called "Pinterest". It's where you can share your interests with others. I've been looking for Christmas stuff/recipes, etc. and found a TON ideas on this site. It's pretty cool.

Admittedly, I created an account and didn't figure out/take the time to start using it for about a month. Just try it, you'll get the hang of it :}

Happy sharing!

DNA assignment

Sugar molecules: red gummy worms

Phosphate molecules: green gummy worms

Adenine: cherry starburst

Thymine: orange starburst

Guanine: yellow gumdrop

Cytosine: rolo

play doh and chromosomes

so I couldn't get my pic files to a zip drive, so I'm using my blog to submit my project proof :) If you are one of my regular readers, you can ignore this :)

Pumpkin Waffles and Spiced Whipped Cream

So, as most of you know, we've started eating bread and sugar in the past few months. And it's wonderful...I don't have dreams about eating bread anymore :)

Here's one of my hands-down favorite recipes that includes bread-ish stuff and of course sugar...a MUST for your fam sometime this fall/winter.

PS they are amazing with raspberry jam if you don't want to make the whipped cream. I'm just sayin'.

Spiced Whipped Cream:
1 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream
1/4 Cup Sugar
1 Teaspoon vanilla
1/2 Teaspoon ground nutmeg

Electric beaters work best: Whip cream in large bowl on highest setting until firm. Add Sugar, vanilla and nutmeg. Whip on high for 1 minute, set aside in refrigerator.


Waffles:
Ingredients
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
4 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
1 cup well-shaken buttermilk
1 cup canned solid-pack pumpkin
3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted
Vegetable oil for brushing waffle iron

Preheat oven to 250°F and preheat waffle iron.
Sift together flour, brown sugar, baking powder and soda, salt, and spices.
Whisk eggs in a large bowl until blended, then whisk in milk, buttermilk, pumpkin, and butter until smooth. Whisk in dry ingredients just until smooth.
Brush waffle iron lightly with oil and spoon batter (about 2 cups for four 4-inch Belgian waffles) into waffle iron, spreading quickly. Cook according to manufacturer’s instructions.
Transfer waffles to rack in oven to keep warm and crisp.

Isn't He A Hottie?

Here are the latest of Joey...that adorable man. He's so different, and we were worried that we wouldn't be able to see the "real Joey" when he lost weight. But to me, he's just as hot as before...only now I can put my arms around him! :)

I made it!!!

Today is the day I reached 135 lbs. My goal weight...I almost can't even beLIEVE it!

THREE years ago, when the obgyn told me casually to "lose 100 lbs, and then you might be able to have kids", I felt overwhelmed, and determined to figure this all out!

TWO years ago, when I joined a special women's only weight loss fitness center. It was a significant sacrifice of time, energy, money, emotion, willpower, etc. I felt that since we were sacrificing so much, SOMETHING good was going to happen! That summer cost us an arm and leg, where I drove to the gym 4 times a week for 30 minutes each way, I exercised 3 hours a day, ate whole foods (nothing prepared), logged all of my meals, ate less than 1100 calories a day, reported what I ate to someone who really didn't care about ME :) (bad experience, maybe?) :) and ONLY lost 8 pounds after almost an entire summer of doing that...I felt defeated, more overwhelmed and even a little desperate! I felt alone, Joey wasn't worried about weight loss like I was, and I didn't think I could do it on my own. So, being the super sweet husband that he is, Joey started to pray and fast with me about what we could both do to be healthy parents, whether we would be able to have them ourselves, or adopt. We found Dr. Marchesini in Curitiba, Brasil and did all we could to prepare for this huge event!

ONE year ago, we started to pack our bags and get ready for a trip to Brasil. Again, we were going to be sacrificing a lot...I was nervous but felt certain that this was going to be the springboard to our new life! We came home and ate much smaller portions, almost no sugar or white flour, ate every two or three hours, exercised at least 3 times a week, etc. And the weight started to fly. Joey's weight loss was just as consistent as mine...we both lost overall pound % weekly at the same pace. In October I was down 10 sizes to a size 16. By December I was a 12. At the end of January I was a size 8 and could squeeze into a size 6 pair of jeans, and now those 6s are loose! Joey's now a 34 when he was a 52! Joey's still got a little more to lose, but he's looking and feeling SUPER amazing!

TODAY, I know I can have the energy and strength to be a mother. Joey is going to be an incredible father! We won't be able to try to have kids for another 1.5 years (about 5 years into our marriage). And we still don't know if we will be able to have them ourselves. But we are assured that we BOTH will have energy, willpower, strength of body and mind to overcome any obstacles that may come in our journey!

This post is entitled "I made it"...but it's more accurate to say WE made it!